The Rise of Celibacy Among Young Women: A New Normal?

As the world grapples with the complexities of modern relationships, a subtle yet significant shift is taking place among young women. According to recent data from the National Survey of Family Growth, sexlessness among young adult women between the ages of 22 and 34 has risen by roughly 50% from 2013 to 2023. This trend is not limited to any particular demographic or geographic region; instead, it appears to be a widespread phenomenon affecting women across the globe.

What’s driving this change? For some, it’s anxiety about the state of the world – the overturning of Roe v. Wade, economic uncertainty, and political turmoil. Others are opting out for more profound reasons, seeking total autonomy and freedom from societal expectations. The data suggests that single women tend to be happier than single men, possibly due to not having to bear the disproportionate burden of household labor or sacrificing their own sexual pleasure.

As online discourse evolves, a new vocabulary is emerging: femcel (short for female incel), boysober (a term coined by men who have chosen to abstain from sex), and opting out. These labels represent more than just individual choices; they signify a collective shift in societal values and expectations.

One such individual is Dominique Silver, a trans woman and supermodel who has been a porn star for over two decades. Despite her professional success, Silver has taken a break from men, choosing to focus on herself. Her decision was influenced by the emotional toll of witnessing infidelity and dishonesty in relationships. “I feel like you need clear space, and you need to be comfortable alone before you start dealing with other people,” she explains.

Silver’s experience is not unique; many women around her are arriving at similar conclusions. They no longer require men for jobs, housing, credit, or stability – a fundamental shift in the traditional power dynamic. As Silver puts it, “Women don’t need men the way they once did.” This newfound independence has led to a reevaluation of what women want in relationships and what they’re willing to settle for.

Another example is Lynn Saga, a 29-year-old non-binary YouTuber who grew up in the LDS church. Saga’s journey began with a youthful understanding of the law of chastity and eventually evolved into an awareness of their own demisexuality – an attraction that develops only after forming a deep emotional bond. Their YouTube channel has become a beacon for others exploring their own asexuality, offering a platform to share experiences and connect with like-minded individuals.

Saga’s story highlights the complexity of human relationships, where sexual orientation is just one aspect. It also underscores the importance of empathy, understanding, and acceptance in navigating modern love and intimacy. As Saga notes, “I thought I was the best Mormon in the world” – a sentiment that reflects the confusion and uncertainty often faced by individuals who don’t conform to societal norms.

In conclusion, the rise of celibacy among young women signals a significant shift in societal values and expectations. It represents a quest for autonomy, independence, and self-discovery – a new normal that challenges traditional notions of love, intimacy, and relationships. As we navigate this changing landscape, it’s essential to listen to the voices of individuals like Silver and Saga, who are helping to normalize celibacy and redefine what it means to be in control of one’s own life.

Source: https://www.wired.com/story/the-influencers-normalizing-not-having-sex/